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Values are the broad goals and guiding principles that we want to shape our beliefs, decisions, and actions across contexts and circumstances. Values serve as an internal compass, influencing the way we interact with the world and the people around us. Identifying your values is an essential step in living a purposeful and fulfilling life.

In this blog post, I will explore what values are, why they matter, and how you can identify your own values.

Why do Values Matter?

  1. Personal Fulfillment: Living in alignment with your values can lead to a deep sense of fulfillment. When you know what you believe and you are acting in alignment with your core principles, you are more likely to live from a place of peace.

  2. Decision-Making: Your values can serve as a helpful framework for making difficult decisions. When faced with challenging choices, you can assess which option aligns best with your values, making your decision-making process clearer and easier.

  3. Relationships: Understanding your values and those of others can improve your relationships. Awareness of your values, and finding compatibility in values with others, often leads to stronger connections with friends, family, and partners.

  4. Goal Setting: Values can help you set meaningful goals. When your goals are aligned with your values, you are more motivated to pursue them and are more likely to achieve them.

Step #1: Self-Reflection

Listening to your own life story can prove to be very insightful in understanding what is most important to you.  Find a quiet space with your laptop or notebook and be ready to dig in to some deeper self-reflection with these exercises:
  1. Describe the most powerful experiences you had as a child. How did these experiences influence you?

  2. Consider one of your most difficult decisions. What internal conflicts did you experience and what values do you see at work in the final decision you made?

  3. Recall a few of your best “peak” times in life in which you were motivated, energized, or fulfilled. How were your values at work in these moments?

  4. Reflect on the most challenging times in your life, when you felt angry, disconnected, or disoriented. How were your values at work in these moments?

  5. Describe the most meaningful job or role you’ve held and what made it so fulfilling.

Step #2: Self-Coaching

Self-coaching is the ability to bring mindful attention to the beliefs, stories, thoughts, patterns, and habits that guide your life. You can use these questions as journal prompts, or have a friend or a coach ask you to verbally process:

  1. Deep down, what is most important to me?

  2. What will I never compromise on, regardless of anything or anyone?

  3. Who do I most admire and why?

  4. What makes me most frustrated, irritated, or upset?

  5. What makes me feel the most energized and alive?

  6. How do I want people to remember me?

  7. What is my ideal environment? If there were no limitations or barriers, what would my life look like?

Step #3: Values Sorting

Many websites provide a list for you to review, sort, and rank your most important personal values, which can be a great exercise to inspire your thinking about what’s most important. Here are a few great lists to check out:

  1. Brené Brown’s Dare to Lead Values List

  2. James Clear’s 50 Core Values List

  3. Science of People’s List of 216 Values

  4. Berkeley Wellbeing Institute’s Over 300 Value Words

Once you’ve found a list you like, check those that resonate from the list. Then, start to narrow down your list to the top 20 values. Gradually review this list of 20 until you can get to a shorter list by asking yourself what’s truly the most important to me?

I recommend to select your top 10 and rank these from most important (#1) to least important (#10).

Step #4: Get Some Feedback

In her research on self-awareness, Tasha Eurich explains that introspective exercises can only take us so far in increasing our self-awareness. We also need input from other people to understand how we’re showing up in the world. Doing an informal 360 interview can give you helpful feedback to see how others perceive you. Find 2 or 3 people who know you well and have you seen you in different life settings (personal, professional, etc.) and ask these questions:

  1. What makes me the most energized or excited?

  2. What makes me most frustrated, irritated, or upset?

  3. What do you think are 3-5 of my top core values? (Provide them with the list you used from step #3).

Make sure to choose people who are comfortable being honest with you, and be ready to receive feedback that might be different than what you expect. Take notes on what you learn and see how it is similar or different from your own perspectives.

Step #5: Write it Out

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Once you have identified what you see as your top core values, it’s time to write it down in a personal values statement. The writing process can help bring further clarity and give you something concrete that you can adapt for different purposes, such as your LinkedIn profile, job applications, or conversations with team members.

Follow these steps to write our your personal values statement:

  1. Define what each value from your list of top 10 means to you. This can be a short, informal definition using an online dictionary as a guide.

  2. Write a simple statement of about 200-250 words to describe your personal values. You can use paragraph form, bullet points, or a combination - whatever works with your style.

  3. Make sure to integrate at least your top 5 personal values into your personal values statement.

  4. Revise as needed. As you gain new insights, feedback, or opportunities, keep tweaking your values statement accordingly. Although personal values are typically relatively stable over a person’s life, there may be events or situations that cause your values to shift or change slightly.

Go Deeper with the Self-Awareness Assessment

If you want to dig deeper into a journey of self-discovery, download our custom-designed self-awareness assessment. This comprehensive guide includes 20 pages of content, including a self-awareness rating scale, reflective prompts, guidelines to conduct an informal 360 review, questions to ask in your 360, and inspiring quotes to keep you motivated in the process.


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How to Live By Your Core Values

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